“The problem of singularity can be avoided naturally as the universe can be spontaneously created from nothing.”

Glad we got that all sorted out. One "day" time itself just sort of started up, like a baby crying or my fscking neighbor cutting tile in his back yard. It just happened out of nothing.

Of course, "nothing" hadn't been invented yet, nor had "something". There was nothing to provide the rules for time to work. It just...did. Don't think too hard about it. So time started up because there was no time before the big bang and nothing in existence that it could change anyway.

I figure time came before stuff because if it had come after, when did the stuff have time to create itself and then time?

So time came, um, first. And then matter and energy created themselves in the ultimate cosmic mystery out of a perfect nothingness. A nothing that is far lesser than the vacuum of space, which is at least a place to be. It was like...Shazaam! it was just there. One moment it was not, the next, well, it was.

And there was a LOT of it. Don't ask where it all came from. It came from Nothing, see, in complete violation of all the known rules of physics...which probably didn't exist yet, either. Speaking of those rules, they made themselves up, too. Exactly how scientists are unsure, but there they are. There's a committee looking into it.

You see, if you had just studied harder in math all of this would make perfect sense. Time created iteslf, then matter and energy created themselves too. Not too much, and not too little. And somewhere in there the universe decided how all this stuff was supposed to interact and now...here we are, no deities required, mystery solved!