Welcome to the new Balance of Terror, just like in the good old days of the Cold War. The way out is through negotiations, not seal team six.

But maybe nuclear war has a silver lining. When a nuke goes off over D.C. the war hawks will finally get a chance to experience war up close and personal. They won't have to just drink wine and watch it on CNN while someone else's kids do the fighting for them. Russia will deliver it direct.

And just think! The nuclear dust cloud will blot out the sun for a decade and freeze the world over. No more global warming! It's climate change, but in the other direction.

We also musn't forget that we'll finally get to show the Russkies who's boss. Moscow will be toast!